I know. I know. Such horrible language. But it is not what you think. My questions is not what the… It is: Why Try Friendliness?
When you have a circle of people who depend on you and a circle of people on whom you depend, you realize the importance of getting along without friction.
Many times we try to justify the short replies, the curt responses and irritable reactions that come from stressed relationships with an explanation of differing opinions or ideals. The truth is, we mostly just want to have our own way.
It seems logical do defend or position. It seems fair to stand up for our rights. It seems true that few people really understand us. However, that short answer, that terse word can create more friction than the original misalignment or disagreement.
Here’s an idea. Try friendliness. Try applying three really simple realities and see if the outcome is better. These three practices are simple not easy!
1. Expect the best. Believe that others have your best interest at heart even when the evidence seems overwhelmingly contrary to that notion. If they depend on you or know that you depend on them, your failure will not benefit them in any way and would be foolish for them to bring about.
2. Motive rests in intent not actions. Like the mother whose son build a sand castle in the kitchen to say “I love you!” His choice of action was messy and misunderstood, his motive, his intent was the best a mom could ask for. People may truly be misunderstood. They may mean well enough but not have the means or comprehension to express that intent.
3. Be friendly! After offering the benefit of the doubt and judging motive based on highest intent, be nice. Apply the rules mom taught when you were young. If you can’t say something nice, say nothing. Believe that you could benefit most from this occasion by learning how to appreciate the input and looking for that golden nugget of truth that will help you to be a better you.
Why try friendliness? Because it will not only protect your best relationships and improve the good ones, it just might make a best friend from a stranger.
Learn the power of appreciation….