Change is the hardest thing that humans are asked to do. If the change you need is the perception you have of other people, the manner in which you interact, or the language you use to communicate, those changes seem to bring an indictment and are hard changes to accept.
You must understand that authority and responsibility are inseparable, you must first admit where you have done wrong. Take control of your anger. Tell that addiction it is time to move along. Do away with those destructive relationships.
If you live a life of self-destructive or socially unacceptable habits, failure to change could bring about unwanted consequences ranging from dysfunctional relationships to abbreviated career opportunities, or even a shortened life span.
Perhaps you are faced with a choice that you are not certain is a good habit or bad habit, W. I. P. It and determine the impact it has on the goal that you have set in that arena. Consider the options, the alternatives, the outcome and the cost. Your decision to resist, indulge or embark will become more clear.
Perhaps a job loss has you depressed so you have made a habit of sleeping in until noon or later. There are not many hiring managers who will show up on your door step and beg you for an interview in your pajamas. Wallowing in pity and shame will not change your job status. Make it a new habit to get up at 7 am, get dressed like you have the job you want and go hand out some resumes, fill out some applications and meet some new people. The odds of finding a job are much higher at the coffee shop or grocery store than snuggled up in bed with the remote and a pack of Oreos. (Not to mention your new battle with your slacks and self-esteem that will follow a few weeks of choices like that.)
If you want to see your vision come to pass, then pay the price to get it. Let go of the excuses, the hurts and the denial and the pains of the past. Stop drowning your sorrow with bad choices and realize that will not change it. What happened is over. What you are doing to cope will not change it. It is time to lay both down and walk away.
When you are staring at the sun, the shadow of a painful past that is following you is hard to see.