{self leadership} What were you thinking?!?

Apply personal pressure to manage your habits and reactions.

Once you begin to take responsibility for your part in the activity, habit or behavior that has been kicking your butt for so long, you will know what YOU have to do to see the outcome change. Be ruthless in the pressure you apply to change those habits. Endure the stress and strain until you begin to see the plastic deformation take place.

It is one thing to say to your Lettuce. “I admit it, I was the one who got all bent out of shape when she borrowed my car and returned it with no gas in the tank. I need to learn to control my temper. (rage habit)”

Now you have to make some decisions and choices. Will you allow her to borrow the car again? If you do, will you do so with the acknowledgment that you expect to get it back with fuel? Will you also determine in advance what the consequences will be if that condition is not met? Will you feel better, without losing your temper, about loaning the car again?

You grab your favorite slacks to wear to dinner with friends and they refuse to zip. Will you make a commitment to pass on the cheesecake after dinner? Not just tonight but for the future? Will you stick to that commitment for at least 30 days until it becomes your new habit? Will you look in the mirror and commend yourself each time you have a success?

Acknowledgment is a key factor in changing old habits.

Get real – get accountable

Perhaps you need a friend you can call who will share in your little victories, who will also be firm when you fail. If change is the hardest thing humans are asked to do, it is because before you can change you must first admit you were wrong.

Friends who want something from you are a dime a dozen. Easy to find, easy to lose and many not worth the effort it takes to lose them. But friends who want the best for you are priceless.

A friend who will lay down their life and take your call at 3 am, who will drive across town to get you home safe after a bad night out, there is no greater love than that. They are usually the ones that call you the next morning, respectful of your hangover headache and yell “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?” That is a real friend! Real friends know what you need, even when that is a smack up side the head.

If you want to see your vision in it’s full, brilliant, vibrant and electric color, get you some friends who love like that. The easiest way to find a friend like that is to become one. Are you a friend like that?

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